Weakness

It's Wednesday, which means it's Song of the Day Day, or the Day the Song of the Week Appears! Wednesday was chosen for this task because, unlike Tuesday (cough), Wednesday falls in the middle of the week and the middle of the week is when people need a middle of the week pick-me-up.

I will admit that I could never ever hope to top Teddy's own post yesterday (also I love Kevin Corrigan), nor will I try to. Sibling rivalry? Pish.

I was looking around for info on the Gnomio and Juliet flick and came up with the official movie song, which is a peppy-paced song by Nelly Furtado and Elton John. Barf. I will spare you the atrocity of the song.

Instead, here is a nice song by The Smiths.


I picked this song because it has the name "Shakespeare" in the title, and I happen to be in a class called "Shakespeare and Co." and a seminar called "Global Shakespeare." I like both the class and the seminar, but I like the seminar better. I really like the way it leaves my brain buzzing. Why do people see the need for booze? I say you can get cray-cray from learning.
I think there should be a SchoolHouse Rock song about that!
In my seminar we write response papers every week. Sometimes my papers are good, sometimes they are great, sometimes they fall short. However, I feel that through it all the quality of my titles has remained consistent. I just need to find a way to permeate that into the body of the texts.
Whenever I am called upon in class, or I raise my hand to raise a point, I feel like most of the time my words end up jumbling together in long, complicated sentences that exercise circumlocution rather than providing intelligent arguments, i.e. I seem as if I am full of hot air. My academic security wavers day-to-day, and it is a source of frustration for me.
Even in this insecurity in my brain-power, I find again that need for dependence on someone Other. "Other" being God and really only Him. Humans just don't provide the level of peace and wholeness of being that is found through Christ. I been plagued by horrible dreams lately that have severely affected my sleep at night. I will wake up in the middle of the night almost in tears and clenching my teeth. I am usually so highly upset that it takes shutting my eyes tightly and praying myself to sleep. I've learned to deal with these situations better and better each time, turning the bad thoughts to conversations with God, analyzing them and determining to conquer them. It hasn't lessened the force of the dreams, but little by little I wake up the morning afterward with a renewed contentment in the knowledge that I am nothing and can do nothing without Christ's strength.
It's quite a blow to realize how helpless I am, actually. I have always been of an independent nature (it dates back to our ancestor John Winston, who after his arrival in America, changed his name from the British "Winston" to a new and independent "Winstead") and have always preferred to do things my way, myself. It has proven to be my downfall, and I now kick myself in the rear every day to remind myself that I must "die to myself" in order that Christ may live in me.
As I read in my devotions today,

"It is good that you recognize your weakness. That keeps you looking to Me, your Strength. Abundant life is not necessarily health and wealth; it is living in continual dependence on Me. Instead of trying to fit this day into a preconceived mold, relax and be on the lookout for what I am doing. This mindset will free you to enjoy Me and to find what I have planned for you to do. This is far better than trying to make things go according to your own plan." - "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young

And,
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. " - Colossians 3:1-3